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Holy Heist
The Problem Goro may ''or may not have accidentally donated his entire life savings to the Church of Helm. In a panic, he gathered the party and together they hatched a plan: break into the church, avoid Ripley and Amari, and get the accidental donation back before anyone even notices it's there. In the meantime... maybe they can pick up a few valuables while they're there. Roddy had to be talked into it. Mormiir did it in exchange for a drink. Larkin was ready to fuckin' ''go. Talking to Ripley While Larkin, Roddy, and Mormiir prepared for the heist, Goro went to talk to Ripley. He uncovered three major pieces of info: Goro asked: "What are you going to do with the airship blueprints?" '' Ripley responded: "The political situation is delicate. As you're probably aware, Skyport is ruled by a Prince. Typically the Prince selects an heir -- usually a member of the council -- to replace him, but the last Prince was murdered five years ago without an appointed heir, and his thirteen-year-old daughter took the throne. She's turning eighteen this year. There's five members of the council, and all of them are trying to influence her. Honestly... I have no idea, Goro. Those blueprints have a lot of political power, and frankly, I have no fucking idea what to do with it. I'll probably just keep them." ''Goro asked: "What do you want done with Mikhail Haeth?' Ripley answered: "He's complicated and dangerous. I would prefer to leave him alone. If you can find a way to use him... use him." Goro asked: "Why did Amari get thrown out of the Church of Helm?" '' Ripley became deeply hesitant. Finally, she edged around the truth. The Church of Helm runs Skyport. Worshiping other gods is illegal. Heretics are hanged. During this conversation, Ripley '''heavily implied' that she and Amari did not actually worship Helm. "If you sell me out, I will fucking murder you," she said to Goro. "Oh my god, I know," Goro said, and stormed out. Breaking In Mormiir, Larkin, and Roddy scouted out the abbey. The abbey was heavily guarded both inside and out during the day... but at night, the abbey would be empty, and most of the guards would be moved outside. Mormiir made a distraction at the front. He wrestled with one of the guards, drawing their attention. Four guards rushed out to grab him. Mormiir (being a slippery dwarf) booked it in the opposite direction. While Mormiir distracted the guards, Roddy slipped a scrying eye (an item from a previous adventure) into the donation bowl at the center of the abbey. He and Larkin hid inside the church until nightfall... but were caught, arrested, and thrown into the dungeon below the abbey. Mormiir (the real MVP of the session) broke into the dungeon, murdered the guard in one hit, and rescued his companions. Roddy used the scrying eye to spy on the donations. As he watched, they were taken to the abbey refectory, then through a secret passage into the church vault. Together, the three of them slipped into the abbey again. But while they tip-toed through the abbey, a young girl wandered down the hallway rubbing her eyes and looking for a drink of water. She stopped. Noticed them. Stopped rubbing her eyes. And stared. Roddy grabbed her and stuffed his hand over his mouth. Thinking quickly, Mormiir (dwarf barbarian and infiltration expert) convinced her he was a short, hairy dwarf fairy. "Oh wow," the little girl said, wide-eyed. "Gosh! My name is Rina. What are you doing here?" Larkin, Mormiir, and Roddy quickly debated on what to do. Roddy (hesitantly) offered to kidnap her and give her to Hansel to adopt (and she ''immediately ''hid behind Mormiir, her new hairy fairy friend). "Oh wow, no thanks," she said. "Listen, there's lots of people around, you probably shouldn't get caught here. I could get scared and scream. But if you gave me, like, two gold or something, I'd probably just go back to bed." Roddy patted her proudly. They gave the tiny extortionist two gold and she scampered off to bed. They proceeded down to the vault, robbed it, and took off. Poisoning the Paladin While the rest of the party was infiltrating the abbey, Goro invited Captain Odin -- the captain of the Paladins of Helm -- out for a drink. He lured the captain out by pretending to have information to help convict Amari of blasphemy. At the Silverlit Inn, Mishka sat in the corner. Goro spotted him and made a split-second decision. He made Mishka a deal. Amused, Mishka kicked up his feet and listened. Goro paid Mishka 1000 gold for some Red Jermaine poison-- and one hour of Mishka's time. He asked Mishka to help him poison the paladin. "We ought to have a codeword," Mishka said. "You know, years ago, back when Hansel and I were together, we had a signal. If something went wrong we'd call each other 'honey.' Anyway, if you need help, just let me know, and I'll do what I can." Goro managed to glean a little information from the captain. Clerics can only cast spells inside the Abbey of Helm if they actually worship Helm. Amari, for whatever reason, can't cast spells inside the abbey anymore. The church knew she must have lost her faith... but they couldn't find enough evidence to hang her. So they threw her out. Goro lied through his teeth to protect his family. He insisted that all he, Ripley, and Amari were '''all '''very devout and there must have been a mistake. Goro bought Captain Odin a glass of wine. Using sleight of hand, he tried to empty the poison into Captain Odin's goblet-- but was caught by the bartender. Amused, Mishka stepped in to save Goro. "Why, honey! You're so thoughtful. Thank you for adding my medicine to my drink for me." He took the goblet and bought a third (identical) drink. Mishka carried the goblets to the table, then used sleight of hand to make sure Odin received the poison. Odin drank, then left. "Thanks for the fun," Mishka said. "I needed a distraction." And he left. Roddy Talks to Ripley Roddy went to check on Ripley. "Hypothetically, if you hear someone broke into the abbey and murdered a guard, I just want you to know, it wasn't me," Roddy said. Ripley shut the door and cast Zone of Truth. Roddy immediately broke down and spilled everything. "Oh my god," Ripley said. "Okay. Fine. I give up. Listen. If you ever get into trouble with this -- or anything else -- just remember one thing. The paladins have magic that forces you to tell the truth, but it only works if you actually talk. Understand? If you ever get arrested, don't say anything. Don't talk to the police. They are not on your side. Come get me." "Yes ma'am," Roddy said. Category:Session Recaps